Setting the scene
On Christmas day a long time ago, about 8 years, I arrived at the front door of my parents house.
“Merry Christmas Fiona” my Dad said as he opened the door with a great smile on his face. I tried my best to smile and instead burst into tears as the whole of the right side of by face was in agony and felt like it was on fire! On the way home from the celebrations at a friends house the night before, well into the early hours of Christmas morning, I noticed that right side of my mouth was hurting. At this point I found it funny because I had had quite a few whiskeys and cokes and when I was younger my mum would rub whiskey onto my gums if I had a tooth ache. It was funny because it had worked then and now I was hurting.
My Dad quickly put his coat on and announced to everyone else that we were going to the hospital. My Dad had not seen me cry for a long time and he believes that I do not cry unless there is a very good reason!
When we got to the hospital they saw us quickly and seemed pleased to announce that it was ‘just’ a tooth ache and that all the dentist were off duty for four days. However, tomorrow I was to ring the emergency dentist. “Just a tooth ache” to be frank I could of killed the nurse that said that and at the same time thought “well it is Christmas”. So I was just about able to say “thank you” and asked my Dad to bring me home to his house.
At my parents house they seemed a little concerned and then got on with the day.
Now this is the important part.
After dinner the family were sitting around watching TV. My oldest sister, there are four children in my family and at the time four grand children, ask me to turn over the TV. I looked at her and I could hear what she was saying but I could not make sense of it. From what I could understand I needed to turn the TV to another AV channel then press another button. I was obviously taking more time then what she thought was needed for this task because she started to shout at me. Normally, back than around my older sister, I would of reacted by either being flippant or getting upset. Instead it was as if time had slowed down. I could see that she was shouting at me but I was not listening to the words. When she had finished shouting I said calmly “It does not matter how loud you shout, it will not help me to know what you would like me to do” and handed her the remote control. To say that she was stuck for words would be an understatement.
You see I was in so much pain that I did not have any energy to react to her, it just was not important. So I stayed out of her drama and in doing so she had no energy to keep it going by herself. I learnt that if I stay in my body in the present moment and am grounded it would not bother me what someone else is doing as that is their business and has nothing to do with me!
Drama’s often take two people to be involved in them.
We are good at playing things around and around in our head and making a drama out of it, but
Is it still important?
Is what you are thinking the same as what actually happened?
Use my grounding exercise to be still and calm and then Ask yourself:
What is important?
How would I like to feel and be?
If you still feel hurt:
Try to speak to the other person or people involved to see what actually happened. Please do his before the family gathering. The chances are is that you will all have a different perception of what happened. This may help you realise that what you are holding onto is just a perception and is not important any more.
If this is too much of a challenge:
Book a special offer Enjoy Christmas 1hr session with me,
via the phone or Skype
for only £60
This offer is only available until Friday 20th December and the appointment must be booked before the 8th January 2013.