Just stop and ponder this question for awhile…
There is so much that I am learning here that it is hard to distil ( I am on ‘The Intensive’ a two month course / retreat at The Awakened Life Project).
So I thought I would share with you what is present now. I am doing a practice where I am not talking, people can interact with me outside of silence time and I can communicate by writing a note. It has been an amazing way for me to clearly hear and see what is going on in my mind.
I was asked if I wanted to do this practice because I was unaware of some of my habits that were caused my me wanting to sense that I am OK and needing to get affirmation from other people.
Does this resonate with you?
It has been a hard practice and at the same time fascinating. What I have realised is that even though I have become very aware of my thoughts, emotions, beliefs I am not always aware of the effect of my habits on other people. It can be very subtle how my mind and Ego seeks to find out if I am OK. I was amazed that a thought around this clearly arose within about 20 minutes of this practice.
It has been difficult at times and mostly not that easy. I have noticed that I sometimes feel I need to be part of a conversation, to feel OK; rather than enjoying the flow of the conversation. An reaction and story around what someone has just said or done can occur so quickly in me, that on at least two occasions I am really glad that I could not voice what I was feeling.
However three days into this practice I am finally able to accept this habit in myself and be at ease with it. I sat in meditation this morning for 2 hours and when it arose I had space around it; this means that I felt at ease with it and I was not taking it personally or making a problem out of it.
What can you take from this?
Maybe you could allow yourself to notice:
- Do you wonder if you are OK?
- Do you what other people to tell you that you are OK?
- Or that you have done well?
- If you, like me, do all or any of these notice what happens with your thoughts and emotions and watch your behaviour. You may find that you would like to change this.
How to make changes.
Awareness is the key and Acceptance is what opens the door – notice what you are doing, accept it, know that it is not personal, do what you can do to change your behaviour
Seek help / support from other people to help you make the changes you need.
Why do I recommend this?
Because it is what I am doing. I am doing this because I want to express my love in the world and help other people do the same.
Contact me here to have a chat or book a session.