Did something happen to you in your childhood, or life, that was shocking?
People act differently to shock, some
- Freeze with Fear
- Run around like a headless chicken
- Talk non stop
- Act like nothing has happened.
When you were a child you might not have felt that you were able to show your feelings or that it was better to behave like everyone else. It may have felt like it did not really happen: if they are behaving as normal I must have imagined it, it couldn’t of been that bad, could it?
Often when shocking (stressful / traumatic / unexpected) things happen we make it our fault and we make decisions about ourselves based on what happened.
The other thing we tend to do is fix our ideas that we have about ourselves and how people and the world works at the age that the shocking (stressful / traumatic / unexpected) event happened. What this means is that as a child you learnt that the easiest way to get what you wanted and needed from your parents was to do what they wanted you to do, especially if you done this without them asking. This behaviour than becomes the person’s safety net as they believe that as long as they please other people they will be safe / loved / protected.
In fact most people do this to a more or less extent without experiencing anything shocking. However the difference when you have experienced shock / stress / trauma is that, often, you become unable to learn new behaviours because you believe your survival depends on your known behaviour.
I see this extremely often with my coaching clients and it has often taken another shocking (stressful / traumatic / unexpected) event to happen for them to realise that something has to change and they cannot keep living their live that way.
How I assist the person to change their behaviour that does not work for them is to help them understand why they behaved like that and why it does not serve them anymore. We then clear the conditioning and the emotions that have kept the behaviour in place; which included clearing the thought and emotions from the shocking event. Then we discuss how they would like to be and empower them to be their true selves.
If you feel that you would like to
- deal with your stress effectively?
- be able to express your emotions clearly and beneficially?
- have more stable and joyful relationships?
- a sense of purpose and direction?
- be excited about being creative and showing up in the world?