My true life story that I am going to share with you shows how easy it is to get lost in thoughts, emotions, conditioning and old stories about myself and “my life”. It shows how I was trying to control life because I forgot how life Really works and how transformation happens.
This is what has been happening…
I have been wanting to buy a car in Portugal, where I have been mainly living for the last three years. This has proven to be very difficult and very stressful. A lot of intense emotions where being brought up in me – Anger, frustration, fragility and sadness. At times I was getting lost in them. I think this is because the following reasons (please note that this is my opinion and may not be true):
- I do not speak much Portuguese, I understand a bit more and I can read some.
- Portugal is predominately a male dominated society.
- I would say most Portuguese men do not believe that women know much about cars, particularly the men who own the cars the I have looked at. I even had one man say to my female Portuguese friend “What the F*** is she doing looking at the engine, she doesn’t know what she is looking at”.
- There is a tendency in Portugal, like Asia, for people to tell you what they think you want to hear rather then the truth.
- For these reasons I need to arrange a male Portuguese person to come with me to see the car, which is stressful and difficult on its own. Of course my friends are busy and to try to get three people to be available at the same time, before a good car is sold to someone else has not so far, about one month, happened.
Most people can see that this has been difficult and most people would properly also find this stressful.
What was also going on in my life is that I have been having some problems with my menstrual cycle and seeing a gynaecologist. In my last appointment the Dr was really not that caring and the exam hurt me. I also did not fully understand what she was telling me and came away from the appointment confused and a bit sad.
This is how the Transformation happens:
I was too busy pushing things to happen and running around like a headless chicken to notice that my overall energy had changed. I was thinking to myself that my sometimes low mood and tiredness was because of my hormones and that as soon as this is sorted I will be back to normal!
Even though all the reasons are real and it is difficult, what I am making all this mean is what had caused me stress and suffering.
What was really happening:
I was generally feeling low, my emotions were intense and I was being reactive. I started to notice that I was being critical of myself and other people.
Does this sound familiar, are you or someone you know behaving like this?
I needed to be myself and give myself time to be with my emotions and feel, see and reflect on what was happening. What I was feeling was that it was too difficult and that I would never be able to buy a ‘good’ car. What I was making this mean was that I could not trust people and that I was very vulnerable living in Portugal without speaking the language; specially living in the countryside.
Transformation happens when you be with what is, really is, not what your thoughts and emotions are telling you.
So yes, I do need help to buy a car in Portugal. AND I can be grateful that I have this help available, I can be patient, I can trust that the right car will come and I can trust that I have already what I need.
THIS IS NOT POSITIVE THINKING.
I have transformed because I not taking my feelings or thoughts seriously, in other words I am not identifying with them. Most importantly I am not taking my thoughts and feelings about one event – buying the car – and making them about “my life” – trusting people and living in Portugal.
I am being with what is really happening, which includes all the emotions, and I am accepting what I need to do and not do to buy a car.
My transformation and yours to peace and joy is not dependant on an outcome, which is something outside of yourself, as I do not have a car. Peace and joy is already inside of me and you. When I came back to knowing how life that there is an Intellegence, a mystery that orchestrates life, I can enjoy the journey and be inspired by the wonder and mystery of it all.
If you want to transform get in touch with me today.
For more information about Transformational Coaching see here