This Blog follows on from my previous blog – intense emotions part 1
Then the day after I felt really sad. This was not amusing and my mind was quick to add stories to why I was feeling sad. The acceptance exercise helped the emotion to disappear. However at a very unexpected moment the same sadness would reappear and each time with a greater intensity. I have never had this happen before, that the specific emotion would not be gone for ever with the acceptance exercise, never mind get more intense. The most vulnerable time was when I was in the middle of Embankment, London the sadness just arose and with it a physical pain in my chest. It hit be so unaware that I just started to cry right there. I could of not stopped it even if I had tried. There is great strength in venerability and I have learnt that emotions need releasing – crying.
I reached out and asked for help, it did not come immediately and this added to my sadness. However after a conversation with Jennifer Hough, I felt some relief. The stories behind the sadness were real and there was every reason to feel the way I did. I accepted the feeling on a deeper level and allowed myself the space for the sadness that I had held in my body for so long to release.
Why the anger then the sadness was coming up now was because at the time of the various events I felt that I needed to get on with what I was doing, and that I did not have time to fall apart (my judgement). Instead what I did was adopt this alter ego and do things that were so unlike me. Looking back on this time I became depressed, but in a manic happy way!
When my body left go of the sadness it was holding, I was then able to see that my sadness was made greater by the aloneness, anger and sadness that is present in society at the moment. Knowing that the full intensity of what I was feeling was not all mine reduced its intensity immensely.
What you can do to get relieve from intense emotions:
- Allow yourself to feel them.
- Ask if there are about what is happening in the moment?
- Ask how much of the emotion is yours? This enables you to let go of what is not yours. Because what I felt was so intense I believed it was all mine and forgot to do this.
- Do my Acceptance exercise (in “The Key to Awareness; BREAK FREE from all the Sh!t“).