«

»

Sep 22 2014

Can this really cause me Stress?

In February and March of this year I was noticing a lot of anger arising in me.  Sometimes there was a reason for the anger and at other times it would just arise.  Being with this anger, stories from my past would appear in my mind and I would try to sit with them in acceptance, which means not judging or following them, and allow the emotion to rise, intensify and then fall until it was gone.  When the anger had a reason it was always that a person or my business was not going as I expected it too.
My response to my feelings about my business was to try harder.  Do you relate to this –  Instead of being with the emotion, you react to it?

 

When I was not that mobile because of my hips I decided to mediate a lot more than usual.  Slowly I began to realise that a lot of my stress, anger and frustration – which are feelings that either cause stress or are a result of stress, was because:

 

  • I felt that I was not interacting enough with people,
  • I did not feel stimulated or excited,
  • I believed that I SHOULD be, my expectation, doing better in my life.

 

I had over the last year been spending more and more of my time sitting down at my computer working on my business.  I knew that I did not like doing this, working on my business on the computer, but I felt that it was essential for the success of my business.  In another words I realised that I was bored and boredom was the root cause of my stress!

 

I am embarrassed to publicly admit this

However how many of you do things you do not like, because they keep you busy, but they are actually depleting your energy and are distracting you from admitting the truth to yourself?

 

I ask my clients do they like they job / business and at least 80% of the time I get a drawn out “Its OK”.  So then I ask them “Are you excited to go to work when you get up in the morning?” and the answer from these 80% of clients is always “No”.

 

I LOVE SEEING CLIENTS AND EASING THEIR PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL PAIN.

I put this in capitals as I wanted to make it abundantly clear.

 

However what I do not like:

1). Is not knowing if what I am writing or posting about is of any benefit to anyone?  (So please write a response on this blog, or email me personally, and let me know.)

 

2). People that want me to convince them that they need to see me;

 

unless you want to ease your pain and look at yourself no amount of sessions with me, or anyone else, is going to make any difference!

 

And I could moan a little more but thats not the point; what the point is in me sharing my story is that I am hoping that you will do some self reflecting and benefit from it.

 

What I am doing for me.

Ironically about the same time I realised why I was stressed my hips began to hurt more if I sat down for more than 20 minutes – I am standing up whilst I am typing this.  So what I have been doing is volunteering on a local horticultural therapy project with people that have mental health issues and helping them grow their own food.  I choose this project because I get to be outside, I need my psychology knowledge, I am interacting with a great bunch of people and I get to play with plants – one of my passions.  I am also doing some paid gardening work and growing my own salad and some vegetables in pots.  I have also started to look at doing horticultural therapy part time and getting paid for it.

 

Points to reflect on:

 

  • Anger and frustration are feelings that either cause stress or are a result of stress.
  • Stress can be a result of being over worked or under stimulated or a lack of joy.
  • Joy, passion and loving what you do leads to more joy and love.
  • Your expectations may or may not be realistic.  Just because you believe that someone thinks in a certain way does not mean that they do think like that.
  • Communication is the key and sometimes you may need to wait until you are not feeling so hurt.

13 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. Damaris

    I always read your posts and find them inspiring and i am grateful for your honesty and courage.
    It keeps me on my path xxx

    1. Fiona Maguire

      Thank you Damaris, I am glad that my intention serves you. Love Fiona x

  2. Sandra Buckley

    Fiona, I am sorry you have had a tough few months. You seem to have found a new path using your old skills and I am sure you will reap the benefits and even eat the benefits!
    I love reading your musings but rarely reply as although I would like to meditate more and capitalise on energy levels I actually feel in a good place and happy with my lot so no great need to work on anything much at the moment just absorb the changes I have made in the last year…..
    Kind thoughts Sandra

    1. Fiona Maguire

      Sandra it is great that you are in a good place and happy in the moment. It is when we feel like this that meditation and attending workshops can lead to great insights as we are doing them with an open mind – instead of trying to work on something or achieve something. Being with yourself, reflecting and attending things that inspire you are not meant to be ‘work’. it is this attitude of ‘work’ that often keeps people stuck.
      Come and have fun with us and cultivate Awareness much more easily from a place of JOY http://www.meetup.com/Live-in-FREEDOM/events/208957792/
      Love Fiona x

  3. Christine Beaty

    Hi Fiona, thanks for this. In fact at your last workshop here in Letchworth I realised for the first time how boredom can be stressful, and I had never thought that before. Funnily, boredom is one of those words that I think as children we are not allowed to admit to. Not quite sure why, except perhaps we can always choose to do something different. However in terms of business it is a different story. The marketing/computer thing does no doubt stimulate some people, and I hear talk of Outsourcing the bits we do not enjoy, but that costs money, and is not personal.
    I am continuously working on putting in to practice the knowledge I have, I enjoy the theory and find taking action needs several attempts and reminders!
    keep doing the blogs!
    Glad you are enjoying the horticultural therapy!
    I do not read every one thoroughly, but do read some! It depends on whether I sense they are relevant to me at the time, but I do not just delete them without thinking about them!
    I get very little feedback on the events I put on, but people keep coming to them!
    Best wishes
    Christine

  4. Fiona Maguire

    Hi Christine, as I am sure you know I love doing sessions with clients and I love teaching workshops. It is also create to share and receive feedback and sharing too. I was surprised to as boredom is not often a state I find myself in because like you say I can choose to do something else.
    What is has done for me is made me realise that I need to go deeper into Awareness whatever I am doing and listen and feel all that is happening inside of me.
    Im very pleased that my blogs remind you to put into practice what I have taught and shared with you. Love Fiona

  5. Judith Coote

    Hi Fiona thanks for this. I too do not like using the computer and have realised (think I already knew) that this is one of the reasons why I have not started to create Facebook page or even web site. I also know that there is help out there for me but I block myself by not asking. How stupid is that! Not sure where I am going with this and it sounds quite random.

    Keep doing the blogs.
    Judithxx

    1. Fiona Maguire

      Hi Judith
      Awareness is a big step that enables you to make changes if you choose to. Remember to accept yourself first and be OK with where you are now, instead of putting energy into making yourself wrong. You can than use that energy to make changes x

  6. Patricia

    Hi Fiona,

    Many thanks for taking the time to write your blogs and for sharing your insights. It is always great to read you and get the chance to reflect on our own life.

    With love and happiness,
    Patricia

    1. Fiona Maguire

      Thanks Patricia
      I am glad that it helps you x

  7. Bridget Ambrose

    Hi Fiona
    Very sorry to hear about your hips, are these things sent to slow us down, so we take more notice of the now ?.
    I do like your blogs and will reply to more of them. My daughter and I have been to Mount Shasta for 2 weeks, it’s in California, a beautiful retreat in the mountains. Stunning scenery and energy, a very welcome rest.
    We moved house early August also. I see you used the word should……Louise Hay said that word must be taken out of the English language, I totally agree.
    Are the veggies working ?
    Light, love and joy
    Bridget

    1. Fiona Maguire

      Hi Bridget
      Thank you for your reply. It certainly has been an amazing journey, that continues. I am so much better now.
      I always agreed with Louise Hayes about the word Should but it was still there in my unconscious – this is why it is so important to listen to ourselves in meditation and quiet times.
      Growing food is great and I feel it is defiantly helping x

  8. Elise

    Very inspirational article. Great points you have. That’s true, stress causes no good in our health or in our emotions.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>