I am asking you to put yourself at the top of your list, to love yourself first.
On an airplane you are asked to put on your oxygen mask before you help anyone else. Most people can see the reason for this, which is if you are not breathing in oxygen you will fail unconscious and will not be able to help anyone else.
So why do so many people put their children, partners, friends, job, … (put here what you put first) before themselves?
Most people want to have love in their lives as much as they know that they need oxygen to stay alive. I am suggesting that love is as important to us staying alive, I could say our life force, as oxygen is. The majority of people look for love outside of themselves and do not even consider if they love themselves or not. This is like relying on a inviburator to keep you alive, rather than breathing for yourself. I realise that this is an extreme example but I am trying to help you see that external love for another person and receiving love, even though it can feel great, does not give you the same strength of life force or the freedom that loving yourself gives you.
In the West if someone is thought of as loving themselves this is often seen as a negative thing. That person is said to be ‘full of themselves’ or selfish. It is simply often not in our conditioning to love ourselves, or for us to have people around us that love themselves to act as role-models. Therefore I understand that it can be difficult to know how to love yourself.
What if I swopped the world love for acceptance? Is it easier to accept yourself? Please think about these questions before you read any further.
Acceptance
What do I mean by acceptance? I mean to accept yourself is to not judge or criticize yourself, to not beat yourself up or to feel ‘less than’. The ability to accept what you are thinking and feeling without judgement gives you the space and clarity that you need to see the solution to the problem.
When you feel a strong emotion that has the potential, or actually has overwhelmed you, accepting that this is what you feel right now and allowing yourself to feel and accept what you are physically sensing in your body will clear the emotion. The opposite of this is becoming the emotion and behaving in the manner of that emotion, which you will probably regret afterwards. In the words of a friend and client of mine:
“I had no idea that accepting the negative thoughts/feelings – like anger or fear helps dissipate them!”
Sue Plumtree
Executive Life Coach
Though practicing acceptance for yourself you will see that you start liking yourself more and I believe will start to love yourself.
Go on try it and let me know what happens.
Please leave your questions, comments and feedback below.