I’m sitting in accident and emergency because I can hardly walk. I’ve had pain in my hips for 18 months. Sometimes it’s very mild and at other times it’s unbearable.
Normally I do not believe that life is about learning lessons, however I have been asking myself why I am experiencing this? I have received lots of answers, well thoughts; why is it easier to get answers for other people?
There is certainly a lesson that I am receiving over and over again – humility… On Sunday when out for a walk with friends I needed to stop and walk back to my car on my own and let them carry on. Then today I needed to ask a client to bring me to hospital (it’s ok laugh, I can see the irony of this situation). You might not see what this has to do with humility? Let me explain from my point of view I am normally a very strong person – in body, mind and heart. Being like this I am also very independent. So admitting I cannot do something and asking for help usually causes some embarrassment, but now I am experiencing my humility – I am human after all.
It is embarrassing and frustrating that I cannot heal my hips myself. I have been receiving a lot of therapy (I see receiving therapy as helping yourself) and even though the pain has changed it has not gone away.
It is amazing how being in pain can alter my perception of what is happening. The other day I felt such rage and I knew in my mind that it was not appropriate for what was happening. But I had no space in my body for anything else than rage. It was a very unique experience for me as I was not able to access any other feeling inside me or change my thoughts or gain my normal clarity. I was able to not become the emotion. Instead I said very little except goodbye and I went home.
It was a wake up call that I am capable of being a Bitch.
So what is in this story for you?
That you like me are capable of:
- Feeling a whole range of emotions
- Getting the wrong end of the stick
- Seeing events in a clouded way, due to what is going on for you, rather than what is reality.
And the nuggets of wisdom are:
- It is healthy to feel what you feel
- know that you are capable of feeling anything
- What you experience in life is more about what is happening inside of you, than what is happening in reality.
YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY
Life is life,