If you follow me on Facebook you would have seen that I have been writing a Research paper to gain creditability for “The Key to Awareness” process that I created. The findings will be shared in another posting.
I got the idea for the research paper at the start of March from a Dr of Clinical Psychology that suggested it would be a good way of getting my process into the mainstream; I was excited, honored and terrified. When I looked at similar articles in Journals, my overwhelming feeling was one of fear and the thought was “shit, I can’t do this”. However after some deep breaths and keeping the reason for doing this in mind (the outcome), to get my process more into the mainstream, I wrote myself a plan of action.
What happened within me repeatedly during this journey was the fact that writing according to a structure that is determined by someone else is something that I have always found difficult. You see at University I it was discovered that I am dyslexic. Fear, stress, anxiety and feelings of not knowing what I was doing would arise as I was researching and writing the paper.
It was ironic that in able to write the paper about my process I needed to keep practicing the process of coming back to the present moment and being with what I was feeling and thinking in acceptance and without adding extra (judgement, identifying with, analysing, blaming, getting lost in story) until it would all disappear and I would return to my essence.
What I realise is that I was so caught up in the outcome that I had forgotten to always be present in the journey.
Being attached to the outcome and
not enjoying the process to an outcome is what causes stress.
What really brought this realisation home was that my research paper was REJECTED! I was devastated and spent a day in this emotion of devastation; I took it personally. To become an emotion is very rare for me; usually I can sit with what I am feeling until it disappears and often I will then get inner guidance on what to do next. “The Key to Awareness” process teaches you to do this.
I am now following my inner guidance and having meetings with people that are interested in co-writing the research paper with me. I guess I needed to clear some old patterning before I could receive this guidance.
My journey writing the paper continues and I will stay in the enjoyment of the process and not get lost in the outcome. As I know that the outcome will take care of its self if I stay present in my essence.
It is great to have outcomes as that is what motivates you to do things, however attachment to an outcome will keep you stuck and prevent you from enjoying your journey.
What outcomes are you attached to?
I wish for you to stay present and enjoy your journey x